It’s hard to continually move forward when you have other areas of your mind that are stuck in the past. Part of integration is “growing up” your alters. I have always refused this, not based on my dislike of being “fixed” (although that is an issue many people with MPD will face) but instead my dislike of changing something that helped me survive.
If you have a tool that helps you out and does a great job…why would you go to another tool that might not fit the same job needs?
I’m facing some serious things right now and in the fog of it all I still find so much strength. I get a little mushy about my faith in God, I know, but it’s a big part of who I am. Many people with MPD are told through therapy to find a support system. My support system has been those close to me and I feel if I keep the faith I have and grow that up, instead of my alters, I can overcome anything thrown my way.
My efforts are truly paying off. Scary things that come about (divorce papers served to my door, financial issues thrown in my face with untruths, the verbal tearing down of my family that loves me by outsiders, etc.) usually serve to drive me down into a place nobody enjoys visiting. I’ve found that lately those same scary things are only pushing me closer to my God that I believe so much in (and who continually blesses me and my children), my family that pursues my happiness as much as they pursue their own and a huge amount of newfound and re-found friendships that I’ve been richly blessed with.
Looking to the new year will be easy for me. I see struggle, tears and heartache but I accept that everyone around me will see the same as the cycles of things to come works around the happiness, smiles and peaceful feelings. I wish everyone a Happy New Year here at the LwMP blog and I hope that I can bring you more advice, stories to help you deal with your own struggles and inspiring retells that will remind me, and you, from where I came.