Public Eye

  • Posted on March 30, 2010 at 8:19 am

I was approached last year, during a hectic time for me, by a producer that wanted to look at following me around in a little bit of a ‘reality tv’ type of show. At the time it was flattering to know that he’d want to show my successes with MPD and becoming more balanced, to the world.

I am no stranger to TV, as you know if you’ve read this blog long, I was on TV a few years ago on the Mike & Juliet Morning Show. I had it linked but they no longer have the archive set up. Incidentally, my brother has a copy and I plan to link it directly on my site soon.

I got in touch with the producer and told him that I didn’t want that type of exposure, right then, due to my children’s ages and the public eye that some reality shows brings upon us. I spoke to my boss, then, also, and asked him what he thought (since I had previously told several co-workers of my diagnosis). He asked me a good question, that to this day I feel helped aid me in making a good decision, “how would you benefit from this show being put on the air?” and then he said, “how would the producer and others benefit, from the same?” basically.

I decided that I wouldn’t truly benefit, and as selfish as it sounds, I have to keep that in mind when making a decision that big. My children are a big part of me (outside children, not inside) and my life, and I didn’t want the intrusion. Also, the fact that many are helped by my blog is incredible to me and I don’t want to lose control of that part of my life. A show like that would be so exposing, I think, that it could trigger an imbalance and why would I set myself up for that when I’ve worked so hard to find balance?

Again, it was flattering, but I didn’t feel that others would benefit in the same way that they do by reading my blog, so I turned it down for now.

Would you have jumped on this opportunity or do you feel it would be another way for television to ‘fantasize’ the truth about MPD?

4 Comments on Public Eye

  1. Tracy

    Hey girl — it’s been so long — thought I’d stop by and say HI!!!!!

    Drop me an email sometime! :D

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  3. Victoria 1st

    I think you made a good choice. If it’s MEANT TO BE another opportunity will come along.

    I’m not diagnosed with DID / MPD but deal with a very fragmented self. Much of the treatment for DID/MPD is used in my treatment. I have ‘parts’ that have thier own lives and opinions and such. I’m just learning what to make of all this.

    I can’t imagine having all this spread over TV. I won’t even give my real name. I’ve started an anonymous blog because all my parts have started fighting to be ‘out’ and I don’t know what to do. I can’t burden friends and family with all of this.

    If you would like to read it and give some insite I would appreciate it http://peoplepersonalitiesparts.blogspot.com/

  4. Pilgrim

    I think you made a good,solid choice, especially since you have children. That shows a lot of integrity. A lot of people these days wouldn’t take that into consideration– what exposure on TV would do to their children. I admire you for that. I don’t have outside kids, but I don’t know if I would want the exposure either. Only if ALL my family were gone, I suppose– they don’t know about my diagnosis. I have to keep everything a secret from them. I wouldn’t be on TV, but I wouldn’t mind being interviewed or doing a book or an article. I’ve been the subject of a few research projects though, but give people only my pseudonym. I don’t think you’re being selfish at all– I think that you are keeping good boundaries, and keeping your family’s best interest in mind.

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