Comments on: Bad Girl Personalities http://aspenleafhosting.com/cat/index.php/2009/12/bad-girl-personalities/ Fri, 18 Jun 2010 10:55:29 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: HaleysComet http://aspenleafhosting.com/cat/index.php/2009/12/bad-girl-personalities/comment-page-1/#comment-28960 HaleysComet Sat, 24 Apr 2010 04:26:40 +0000 http://aspenleafhosting.com/cat/?p=1059#comment-28960 Hi, I am reading and posting way late but I am so excited to see there are other people like me! Real people who are not made up inside my own mind. In therapy for just over a year now for D.I.D. (many, many other years of therapy prior to the correct diagnosis)I am still learning and figuring things out. Your post interested me because the only person who knows I am D.I.D at this point is my therapist. But I know my husband wonders about me sometimes. And for sure I get a sense my therapist believes alters lie to her, and do crazier things than we tell her. But it is not true. We tell the truth as best we know it. Then later things become more clear and it looks like we lied. I hope that makes some sense. But there is a 9 yr. old who steals small things from stores. Mostly candy and kid things. Ashamed? Yes. Doing something about it? Yes, now that we are aware of it, we pay for the candy! But it does feel bad when there is such a preset disposition for MPD/DID people. Thanks so much for this blog! Hi,
I am reading and posting way late but I am so excited to see there are other people like me! Real people who are not made up inside my own mind. In therapy for just over a year now for D.I.D. (many, many other years of therapy prior to the correct diagnosis)I am still learning and figuring things out. Your post interested me because the only person who knows I am D.I.D at this point is my therapist. But I know my husband wonders about me sometimes. And for sure I get a sense my therapist believes alters lie to her, and do crazier things than we tell her. But it is not true. We tell the truth as best we know it. Then later things become more clear and it looks like we lied. I hope that makes some sense. But there is a 9 yr. old who steals small things from stores. Mostly candy and kid things. Ashamed? Yes. Doing something about it? Yes, now that we are aware of it, we pay for the candy! But it does feel bad when there is such a preset disposition for MPD/DID people. Thanks so much for this blog!

]]> By: cat http://aspenleafhosting.com/cat/index.php/2009/12/bad-girl-personalities/comment-page-1/#comment-28886 cat Tue, 15 Dec 2009 14:33:16 +0000 http://aspenleafhosting.com/cat/?p=1059#comment-28886 Very good point, Paul, about the harm we do to ourselves. It's very common to do that from shame and guilt instead of turning on others. I once read a book that discussed how people who had been abused, most likely would turn into abusers themselves. I completely disagreed and had a hard time believing that could be true. I see it as the opposite. Truly. Just like children that deal with harsh parents are sometimes the opposite, much less harsh, with their own children. You kinda go, "I don't want to be like THAT" and you swing to the other extreme. From my experience, that's what I've seen. I worry sometimes that people assume I'm like those people in the books and movies. But then I have to realize it doesn't matter what they assume...I am me and us and we and it's OK!! The people closest to me are the most important and they truly care. I've seen it. Very good point, Paul, about the harm we do to ourselves. It’s very common to do that from shame and guilt instead of turning on others. I once read a book that discussed how people who had been abused, most likely would turn into abusers themselves. I completely disagreed and had a hard time believing that could be true.

I see it as the opposite. Truly. Just like children that deal with harsh parents are sometimes the opposite, much less harsh, with their own children. You kinda go, “I don’t want to be like THAT” and you swing to the other extreme. From my experience, that’s what I’ve seen.

I worry sometimes that people assume I’m like those people in the books and movies. But then I have to realize it doesn’t matter what they assume…I am me and us and we and it’s OK!! The people closest to me are the most important and they truly care. I’ve seen it.

]]> By: Paul http://aspenleafhosting.com/cat/index.php/2009/12/bad-girl-personalities/comment-page-1/#comment-28879 Paul Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:08:24 +0000 http://aspenleafhosting.com/cat/?p=1059#comment-28879 Hmmm, Cat. Thanks for writing this. I don't know. I mean I have heard of some of these portrayals of MPD/DID on TV. To be honest, I avoid them. I watched the opening episode (which was free online) of Tara. I didn't like that or think it was that real. I know I saw Sybil. But cannot remember it. Mostly I don't remember the media I've seen on MPD. I don't know why. I must push it away or discount it. castorgirl.com posted about morals in the system recently. You may want to check that out. In general, I agree with what you and she says. But these moral standards come more from the identification with us as survivors than about the DID/MPD. I am certain there are those who have fragmented personalities who commit horrible crimes. I see that not as a lack of the DID structure to keep their morals intact, but more as a failure of their system to identify as a survivor and try to heal. I think when you make the decision to heal, this is what sets up the morals. My personal experience is that, yes, I have parts who do things that are clearly wrong (even law breaking). I think they know not to cross a certain barrier (which is not to hurt OTHERS). But absent that, I think there are few rules for some of them and, yes, they can be wildly out of control. When you talk about "bad" personalities, we also have to consider those who hurt ourselves. If you were to map the kinds of dangerous things parts of me have done to me ONTO, say, doing those same things to someone else, they would be absolutely reprehensible and land all of us in jail for a long time. It's scary to think that what distinguishes "US" from someone who does very illegal things is simply that we have that barrier about hurting others. I am glad that barrier is there. But I am very very sad about the things we do to ourselves. Thanks for bringing this up. Paul Hmmm, Cat. Thanks for writing this. I don’t know. I mean I have heard of some of these portrayals of MPD/DID on TV. To be honest, I avoid them. I watched the opening episode (which was free online) of Tara. I didn’t like that or think it was that real. I know I saw Sybil. But cannot remember it. Mostly I don’t remember the media I’ve seen on MPD. I don’t know why. I must push it away or discount it.

castorgirl.com posted about morals in the system recently. You may want to check that out. In general, I agree with what you and she says. But these moral standards come more from the identification with us as survivors than about the DID/MPD. I am certain there are those who have fragmented personalities who commit horrible crimes. I see that not as a lack of the DID structure to keep their morals intact, but more as a failure of their system to identify as a survivor and try to heal.

I think when you make the decision to heal, this is what sets up the morals.

My personal experience is that, yes, I have parts who do things that are clearly wrong (even law breaking). I think they know not to cross a certain barrier (which is not to hurt OTHERS). But absent that, I think there are few rules for some of them and, yes, they can be wildly out of control.

When you talk about “bad” personalities, we also have to consider those who hurt ourselves. If you were to map the kinds of dangerous things parts of me have done to me ONTO, say, doing those same things to someone else, they would be absolutely reprehensible and land all of us in jail for a long time. It’s scary to think that what distinguishes “US” from someone who does very illegal things is simply that we have that barrier about hurting others. I am glad that barrier is there. But I am very very sad about the things we do to ourselves.

Thanks for bringing this up.

Paul

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