Not a chance! I am asked many times why I let others know of this disorder. Why not hide it away and attempt to be normal?
My simple answer, that I can admit was not easy to discover, is that such a disorder is created BY secrets, so if I choose to continue to live in those secrets I’m giving myself the same poison over and over again. I choose to learn from life, to glean things from my experiences both good and bad, and in that, I have to come to terms with who I am. The many “me’s” that make up Cat are the many parts that make me unique! That make us unique.
Everyone has a story. Everyone hurts at some point in their lives, or they experience wonderful times. Each pathway that we take, either dark, dreary, and full of fallen trees to block our path, or lighted with sunbeams and full of easy walkways, makes us who we are. I refuse to become a burden to society just because I had bad things happen to me in my past.
My goal is to overcome these things and make what I developed as a survival method, into a gift that I can use and teach others with.
My son said, the other day, that I am working to do just that. He said, “Mom started off with something that most people give into and she’s made it into something she can use, that can be positive in her life…” while talking to his sister. I was so proud that he saw my goal in the light!
Another day, another part of my journey behind me. Who can I touch with my story today?
This is a great position statement. One which I tend to agree with. I am not sure I am able to take it to the point you have. I’m just not in a position yet to know what the goal is. I am just taking it bit by bit. But it’s nice to hear someone who talks about acceptance. I have been more and more and I think that’s somehow the route to healing.
- September 11, 2009 at 7:09 am
Taking some time « Petrogenic[...] was reading this blog post by Cat about the shame of MPD/DID. I agree entirely with her reasons for being open and honest about the [...]
I agree with you. Our society puts a lot of stigma and silence onto survivors of abuse and the aftereffects we continue to endure. I am a big believer in being safe, in healing, and in being who you are. Good for you.
In college I did a small study that asked opinions and beliefs on domestic violence. On the questionaire I asked if the person knew anyone who was a survivor of domestic violence. A larger percentage said no. I found that hard to believe, they knew them, they just did not know their story of survival. That got me thinking on how many people had met me and didn’t know any of my story of abuse, survival and healing. When I got told by a co-worker about how his professor had told him that DID did not really exist, I had to tell him, I knew people who were and that there were many of them. At that time I couldn’t tell co-workers about my multiple status, but it really brought it home to me how much we need to educate others and know that we have nothing to be ashamed of. Again, good for you.
Good and healing thoughts to you.
Kate
My reason for starting my blog was to have a place where I could tell the truth. Hopefully in the telling of my personal truth, someone else might learn more about the disorder of DID, and gain a smidgen of encouragement to continue their own journey.
It seems that those of us who ended up multiplying into many must speak out against the abuse which created our DID. I know that not everyone is in a position to do so though. For those who can, we are pathfinders carving new paths out of the wilderness of our sorrows and woundedness.
How wonderful it must have felt to hear your son’s words of commendation!
Thank you so much for this comment. Somehow it got lost in my email and I was never notified of it. I think I have that fixed, now.
It did feel wonderful and I daily feel blessed by my journey to heal. It’s VERY true that hindsight gives you 20/20 vision… I never fully realized how true this was until I began looking over my blog and old journals, and now see where I am in comparison. I still, to this day, learn from my past!
First visit to you blog and I found your site very educating. So often people hide behind mental illness rather then embrace it to bring about something good from it and it’s not easy to speak out. Thanks for sharing your story and not giving in to it.
How do I get an Email for you? A certain day is upon us, and I need to speak to you.:) It’s been a long time……..
I love to hear about people that have turned something typically seen as negative, into a positive. You are a truly inspiring person!
MeCassieMarie.blogspot.com
Shad, Email is cat @ cat with a pen dot com
A Mom’s Choice, thanks so much. I totally agree that people tend to hide behind labels and illness. I did the same for a time. I’m glad I broke out of that! I’m definitely EMBRACING my uniqueness. I’m not proud of how I got to be this way, but I am proud that I am a survivor.
MeCassieMarie, thanks for your visit. I’m very glad you feel that I do that…that is one of my goals. You put a smile of accomplishment on my face with your comment.
I want to ‘come out’ as an abuse survivor and DID sufferer but it’s like nobody wants to know. I feel society wants abuse survivors to shut up and die.
By the way – hi. Nice to meet you and I look forward to reading more of your blog.
Pumpkin
I’m glad you visited! I dropped by your blog, too. I like reading it
I think SOME of society does see it that way, but not society as a whole. I have experienced many that would rather turn their nose to what I’m saying, but those are the same ones that will do that when you discuss ANYTHING not just mental health. If you surround yourself with people that will support you and you can, in turn, support, then you shouldn’t find this to be the case. It’s hard to do and many that you meet won’t fit the bill, but if you take your time and truly remind yourself of your worth, you will eventually run into people that will care about you for who you are, and not who you aren’t.