Many people I know are childhood or adult survivors of situations that have had repercussions on the rest of their lives. Its always amazed me when I’m talking to one of those people and someone else finds out that my friend is a survivor. Sometimes the person who has just discovered the information, having experienced a similar experience themselves, comes right out and asks “How were you abused?” or “Do you know who your abuser was?” or something of the sort. I’ve always been flabbergasted that someone who would know that, given how they may not know the person they’re asking very well, it would be inappropriate to ask them for their Social Security Number or bank access password or what have you, that it’s perfectly acceptable to come right out and ask them something that intimate. People who wouldn’t ask someone something very intimate about their experiences when it has to deal with a positive aspect of someone’s life sometimes feel completely in the right (or indeed, make it a condition of inclusion in some groups) to ask the same person questions of a similar intimacy that have to do with something that they’re still coping with or have established a coping mechanism for.

Now, Cat, I know that you’re not dissuading people from asking straightforward questions about your alters and your experiences with them when those questions come up and that’s a very good thing in my opinion, but I think, at the same time, there are some questions that, no matter who is asking them, are very likely to be inappropriate. No one should feel obligated to answer something that personal or inappropriate, no matter who is asking them. I think that it’s important to remember that.