It affects everyone, not just those of us with a mental disorder, but even people that seem to have it all “together” in their lives. Stress!
I don’t have too terribly much going on in my life that would create a mountain of stress, like I have in the past, but I still am pushed to the edges at times with stressful situations. I’ve realized that when I show signs of this others pick up on it and either support me and get closer to me, or become stressed with me. I think this is similar to being with someone that’s sad, you tend to pick up on that emotion and feel that sadness, you share it, so to speak.
It makes me feel good that I’m able to have people around me that care enough to share in this, but then I feel bad about it because I tend to be very independent and want to handle my own stuff.
I see my son taking this on in his life as well. Stress will hit and I will try to share with him by asking him if I can help, support, be there for him…he will respond, at times, with “well, I just want to handle it on my own, mom” and it’s then that I realize how important it is for ME to reach out when I’m in these situations. I tell my son the same thing, I need to take my own advice, though.
People surround themselves by those they like (when possible and given a choice) and typically that’s a shared emotion between you. I like you–you like me–we hang out. I think that when you are in stressful situations it’s good to remember that the people around you actually CARE and that it’s okay to reach out to them and share some of your feelings.
No longer is it appropriate to bottle that up and carry it around. If I look into the past, when I did that, it just got heavier and heavier. I refuse to go back to that habit.
I wish somehow I could tell you all, everyone that reads my blog or stumbles upon it, that it’s okay to reach out, to depend on others some, to share your emotion and strife (and happiness!), to affect others with your life in small ways in order to keep going. It’s really okay…as a friend you’d expect nothing less from others, right?
Having been single for almost 6 years, I notice that I live more and more with the feeling that “I should be able to do stuff all by myself and handle stuff all by myself”. It’s getting harder and harder to reach out at times of stress… but I still try to…
this\ helpx so much thanks
thanks so much more makes sence now
This is something I struggle with ALL the time. It’s so hard for me to be the “taker” instead of the “giver”. I find it unnerving to show the vulnerable side of myself to others, even my friends who I trust. I want to be SuperWoman who can do it all alone. And then I wonder what glory there really is in that?? Should I be proud when I exhaust myself and push my friends away so that I can do it all?? No. For me, the challenge is to let people in and ask for help. It’s a struggle.
Perfect, I completely am “in touch” with you when reading your comment. Thanks for making me feel less alone, too! It’s a struggle but I find it’s so worth it, everyday, to work to change how I handle things–choosing healthier ways.
I think that a lot of people (I should dare say most people – although I might be saying that just because I know I’m one of them) find the challenge of turning to someone and asking for their help to be one of the hardest aspects of interacting with people.
I know that there are aspects of my past where I was continually expected to be the giver, and being allowed to “take” is a hard thing to get into one’s head.