It affects everyone, not just those of us with a mental disorder, but even people that seem to have it all “together” in their lives. Stress!
I don’t have too terribly much going on in my life that would create a mountain of stress, like I have in the past, but I still am pushed to the edges at times with stressful situations. I’ve realized that when I show signs of this others pick up on it and either support me and get closer to me, or become stressed with me. I think this is similar to being with someone that’s sad, you tend to pick up on that emotion and feel that sadness, you share it, so to speak.
It makes me feel good that I’m able to have people around me that care enough to share in this, but then I feel bad about it because I tend to be very independent and want to handle my own stuff.
I see my son taking this on in his life as well. Stress will hit and I will try to share with him by asking him if I can help, support, be there for him…he will respond, at times, with “well, I just want to handle it on my own, mom” and it’s then that I realize how important it is for ME to reach out when I’m in these situations. I tell my son the same thing, I need to take my own advice, though.
People surround themselves by those they like (when possible and given a choice) and typically that’s a shared emotion between you. I like you–you like me–we hang out. I think that when you are in stressful situations it’s good to remember that the people around you actually CARE and that it’s okay to reach out to them and share some of your feelings.
No longer is it appropriate to bottle that up and carry it around. If I look into the past, when I did that, it just got heavier and heavier. I refuse to go back to that habit.
I wish somehow I could tell you all, everyone that reads my blog or stumbles upon it, that it’s okay to reach out, to depend on others some, to share your emotion and strife (and happiness!), to affect others with your life in small ways in order to keep going. It’s really okay…as a friend you’d expect nothing less from others, right?
For a few years of my journey to healing I had this intense push from those both in the medical field and out, to fix things. I cannot say that I didn’t want the same thing, either. I feel part of my mind was saying, “this isn’t right, you aren’t normal” while other parts were saying, “we did this to survive, I’m sorry, it was our only choice!”.