As I wrote yesterday, I went to visit my surgeon for my post-surgery appointment. I was released and all is well (if I can just get past some Vertigo issues) but the funniest thing happened. The nurse knew that I visited New York to be on the Mike & Juliet Show, and when they entered the room, she asked how it went.
The Dr. said “wait, what? Why were you on TV?” and I then began to explain that I had been invited on the show, to represent someone that is living with Multiple Personality Disorder. He was like “I had no idea!” and I told him that typically I was given the advice not to announce it to doctors or bosses until I knew it might become a needed issue. This is why it’s SO important to have a support system with you.
My mother was at the hospital with me the whole time, so that if anything needed to be said about my diagnosis, she could handle it. Otherwise, there were no discussions with nurses or doctors about my mental health. I was not there to get that treated, it was a physical issue.
I find that if you muddle up things with mental health, you have more opportunities for a misdiagnosis or an opportunity for them to blame your issues on that, instead of treating you. I’m glad that I was able to get this surgery without that muddled up type of talk, because once he got inside my body, he said that I had a horrible case of endometriosis and I had great reason to be in such pain for so long.
It was good to know that it wasn’t all in my head and that the treatment I received was for a reason that needed great attention. It validated my feelings that this pain I was in should have gotten attention far earlier than it did and that I’m partially to blame for my dissociating from it, but also that my circumstances in life held me back. Once that changed, I was able to find the care needed and get this past me.
The dissociation from the pain probably helped me cope with something that wouldn’t have been easy to handle otherwise. I’m thankful that, at times, it can play a positive role in my life. Not always a negative frustrating role. It was also nice to see some compassion to my state of being, for that was lacking for a long time.
Now to work on self-compassion and self-worth, that’s still a big goal for me. I have to build up something that is foreign to me. I think this is typical of anyone that’s had a past with abuse or lack of compassion.