Last night I started the high dose of antibiotics early in the evening. I then started to feel strange about two hours later. I was unsure, having had panic attacks in the past, if it was a reaction to a new medication or something more.
Knowing this and my situation I asked my husband if he would take me to the grocery store so that I could check my blood pressure. If my heart rate were high, I accepted it could be just panic. Upon arriving, (after driving in tons of snow to get there) we walked to the machine and everything looked higher than normal but not an alarming rate.
I then approached and saw a lady in a white coat. I said, “Is there a pharmacist available for a…” and she said, “I’m a pharmacist”…I nodded and smiled. I said, “I was just wondering if this medication has any side effects relating to blood pressure” and she took the bottle and made sure the pills were matching the label.
Then, she confirmed that a side effect could be dizziness and I said that was what I was having. I thanked her and STUPID ME then says, “I was worried because in the past I have had issues with panic attacks but it’s been a long time…and…” as I trailed off she said, “well, in THAT case, I’d say it was more likely a panic attack”.
Again, panic attacks are always #1 on the list of things that are going on with me. I don’t have them that often anymore and I have figured out many situations that cause them. But if I say to one person that I have panic attacks and then have a hard day, it’s immediately thought that it MUST be the panic. It’s probably NOT just a regular reaction…no, it must be an attack, right?
This is why so often people with a mental illness will NOT let anyone know about it.
My mother has the same issue with chest pain because one doctor said it was panic or stress because of her taking care of her mother. Now that her mother has passed away, the stress is gone and her life has changed, the pain remains and they still say, at this one doctor office, that it must be panic.
It’s so frustrating how people with mental illnesses are treated with such a stigma. My mother doesn’t have panic attacks and has no history of them but once it was mentioned that was the ‘easy answer’. Have you ever had issues with this?
In the future I’ll just keep my mouth closed about stuff like that and see if I’m treated differently…but then, wouldn’t that mean that I support the very thing that I hate? Am I not bending to the assumptions of others and hiding my fight to heal? It’s such a hard decision.
Don’t think that I don’t realize humans are emotional creatures and have faults with judgments and such. I do realize that. I just wish that this could change somehow.
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