No, I’m not talking about a money issue here. I’m talking about a status problem. Apparently we have a few debts between us, my husband and I, that can only be handled by one person. One or the othe–but not both.
Today I called to inquire on payment methods on an account. I was asked social security numbers, identifying dates and account information questions. I was then told that the operator could not discuss the account with me. I informed her that I am the wife of 10 years to my husband, and surely she can at least let me know payment methods. She let me know that my marriage had nothing to do with the debt.
That’s not so bad but I had to ask a question that made me angry. “Ok, so if this debt is not taken care of, can you report this on my credit?” and of course, you can guess, the answer she told me is “yes, we can, but I cannot discuss the nature of this debt nor payment options with you without a written letter to our office giving you permission…” I said, “well, you can go after me for the debt and put it on my credit but I would not know how or when to pay the debt?” She said, “yes, that’s correct.”
Tell me if I’m wrong here, but if you’re putting something on my credit report, shouldn’t you at least discuss the debt with me? I called my mother (now married over 30 years) and she said it happens to her all the time. I think this is absolutely ridiculous and it made me so mad. I’m all worked up but I guess, deep inside, I’m glad my husband has to call. I don’t think I could speak to them with such grace the next time.
Have you had this happen? Do you know the legalities of this? Does it sound like complete stupidity or am I just being sensitive?
Our cell phone company wouldn’t even let me pay the bill until I had a signed letter from my husband authorizing it. He can’t inquire about my student loans.
I think it’s pretty common, but it sure ticks me off every time it happens.
You’re not being stupid or insensitive. And, it is ridiculous. After 12 years of marriage and learning from my mother, women get screwed as far as debt goes. Paying off my husband’s old student load was a hassle because he doesn’t like to deal with and they wouldn’t give me any info. It’s not just debt either. We discovered early on in our marriage that my husband could clear out our joint checking account any time he wanted, without my knowledge. However, if I wanted to do the same thing, the bank would insist upon notifying my husband. We’ve slightly gotten around that by putting me as the primary on our savings account and Richard signing a letter that should I ever need to withdraw all accounts and close them without notifying him, I can do so. The insult there? They ask him once a year if he wants to renew that letter.
If you don’t pay them they’ll screw up your credit report, but they won’t tell you HOW to pay them? Blatant sexism aside, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard all day.
That would make me so mad…argh!
Hmm…It doesn’t sound right to me. I was in the loan business for a long time, and the only way we could report derogatory credit on someone is if they were on the contract. If it was only the husband on the contract, I could only ding him, not the wife, or vice versa. If I had both, I could take them both down.
Happens all the time and goes both ways. If your name is the only name on an account, your husband cannot access it without written permission either, yet a debt of yours can go on his record.
And I *know* I cannot speak to creditors with any tact or grace, thus I make my husband of nearly 13 years do it, too.}:P
That sounds utterly ridiculous, but sounds like something that would happen in this country…all the stupid red-tape that somehwere along the way they forgot commonsense. Good luck and like you, I wouldn’t have been able to be nice the second time around.
Take, Cat, you’re it!
Oops, that was supposed to be tag, you’re it.
Try not to deal with people working in call centres. They have no authority to reason or make judgements on the info you tell them. They only enforce the policies. Try to get a supervisor on the phone or, better yet, just write a letter.
Once during an agonizing call to the Amex service center…I cried on the phone to the rep because of her inability to help me…
Happens to me all the time. I’ve been married for 21 years (eep!) and we’ve finally started putting everything in my name so that I can handle the administrivia. I’m the one who pays the bills and makes the financial decisions. However, 21 years ago, the major breadwinner (my hubby) was always the primary on any account. Now that I make as much as him, it’s easier to be the primary on financial accounts. Candy is right, tho, if you get an unhelpful response at a call center, go up the chain and keep climbing. There are privacy law limits to what they can do, but I would think discussing payment options would be one of them.
It’s happened to me a good number of times & DH has now learned to make sure I’m authorized on every account. What frustrated me was Cingular (I despise Cingular) I called to ask a question about the charges on my phone that was linked to his phone & they wouldn’t talk to me; but they would gladly take a payment from me. I laughed & hung up.
We have a system when it comes to this. I handle all of the bills, but many of them are in Chris’ name. Since we aren’t legally married, I have no chance of getting anything out of them. So, I have Chris call, and once they have verified that it is him, he tells them that he is illiterate and needs them to speak to his financial advisor. We never have problems when we do it this way. Who is going to tell an illiterate adult that he needs to write a letter? lol
I must have a huge stroke of luck with this kind of stuff. My boyfriend and live together and I’m always able to get what info I need regarding his accounts. I think the only place I ever ran into trouble with it was talking to Sprint and that situation was quickly fixed because I turned into the raving witch from hell on them *chuckle*
Have him add you as a contact on his accounts so that way you don’t have to deal with it. That’s what my mother finally had to do with dad’s stuff.
It all depends on how the account was set up. You can have a joint account with both responsible parties equally assigned to the account, or a single account with additional users. Very frustrating, but the credit and service companies hold the cards.
Wow! How did you get such clear pics of a hummingbird? Mine have always come out blurred.
Sorry I’m late had to work today.
I too have had those calls and I tell them to kiss my ass!!
XXOO,
JTL
Something my domestic partner and I don’t have to worry about.
Classic.
Someone needs to change that shit.. I’d be BEYOND pissed off.
Don’t think I’d be able to talk to them with grace after that either, it’s ridiculus!