Living with MPD

Dear Navy Seal Sniper:

I met you quickly considering you had quite a nice social way about you. You weren’t pushy but you would converse with ease. I remember the hospital had quite an interest in you but never realized why until later, when I read that the Dr. that owned the hospital was researching government brainwashing. Made me wonder if you had it happen or if you thought it had happened.

That wasn’t quite as important to me when we’d talk though. You would tell me the stories of your life. It took some coaxing to get you to share but you would let me know that as hard as it was, it was part of your healing. You and a few others ended up in the “Fruits & Nuts” roadshow we had planned (it was all in our head, folks, but it was fun to talk about) and our comedian ways were certainly a good way to heal, too.

I remember your story about being a sniper. I remember you saying you once had a man walk in that looked like one of your marks. I cannot imagine the feelings you described to me as you told me that you felt like he was the dead man coming back to life to approach you. I think I would’ve freaked out too! I remember you sharing that you had hallucinations and most of all, I remember the day the war started.

Iraq. I was in the hospital with you and others and we were allowed to watch the news at times. Especially that night. You had fear, recognition and wonder in your eyes as you watched. Many would retreat to their rooms to think and worry–not you. You listened, got the information, processed it and worked hard to make sense of the reasoning. I always admired you for that.

Meanwhile, you were going through a possible divorce and it wasn’t pretty. How did you stay so strong? Was it your training or just how you do things? I loved hearing about your life and I miss the stories now. I try to grasp all of them in my mind but I was in such a tizzy when I was in the hospital then…that I’m positive some are lost for now. You had the worst nightmares. I hated that for you.

I remember you would make us feel somewhat better about the choices the government made on the war. You would watch and take the things you needed out of the news reports. I always thought you were so intelligent for doing that and not overreacting. I wonder what you think of things now. I wonder if you are married or still struggling. I wonder, sometimes, if you ever found peace. I know the nightmares haunted you more than some. I know that sleep was hard to come by…and I hope you found it along the way. I remember you had problems thinking it was okay…the things you did…were okay.

Praying you know that forgiveness is real -

Cat