Tonight, Death IMed me. He asked how I was doing. I also found out this important news: Death is prejudiced and against immigration. He also likes tea.
My conversation went as follows:
[20:02] death2420: hello
[20:02] *** Auto-response sent to death2420: I am currently idle.
[20:06] amorefelina: hello
[20:06] death2420: how are u today
[20:06] amorefelina: I’m not going
[20:06] amorefelina: 
[20:07] death2420: do what
[20:07] amorefelina: I won’t go with you!
[20:07] amorefelina: death knocking on my IM door
[20:07] death2420: yep
[20:07] amorefelina: would you like some tea?
[20:07] death2420: funny
[20:09] death2420: so whats up
[20:09] amorefelina: nothing
[20:09] amorefelina: I thought you knew!
[20:09] death2420: u never know
[20:10] death2420: so i see that u live in the mountains of colorado
[20:10] death2420: i was just wondering if you knew grand junction at all
[20:10] amorefelina: it’s far from here but yes, I know it
[20:10] amorefelina: I live in SW Colorado…closer to Durango and New Mexico line
[20:11] death2420: been through there
[20:11] death2420: i hate this town up here i have been here six months and i already want to get the hell out of here
[20:11] amorefelina: well, it’s very disappointing that you cannot leave
[20:11] amorefelina: considering you’re death and all…and I always thought you could do most anything
[20:11] amorefelina: is it that bad really?
[20:12] death2420: yes
[20:12] death2420: i can do almost anything b ut anymore u have to work your ass of for money
[20:14] death2420: and my slave is the one that gets to have all the fun i just gather the people when my slave brings them to me
[20:14] amorefelina: how boring
[20:14] amorefelina: maybe you should make your own rules?
[20:14] amorefelina: I mean, that’s how you got to be who you are, right?
[20:14] amorefelina: rebellion
[20:15] amorefelina: massive takeovers that didn’t work
[20:15] amorefelina: poor you
[20:15] amorefelina: stuck in a town you hate, no less!
[20:15] amorefelina: 
[20:15] death2420: yes it sucks i am about to go back east
[20:15] death2420: get out of this boring state
[20:18] amorefelina: how’d you get here?
[20:18] amorefelina: I love Colorado…I came from Texas
[20:18] death2420: halliburton moved me here from kentucky
[20:18] amorefelina: you’re making me angry saying my state is boring…I’m going to have to get you run out of here!
[20:19] death2420: look at grand junction there is nothing here
[20:21] amorefelina: I live farther up than you …in more nothing
[20:21] amorefelina: no wal-mart
[20:21] amorefelina: one grocery store
[20:21] amorefelina: closes at 11
[20:21] amorefelina: or 10:45 sometimes
[20:21] amorefelina: no all night gas stations
[20:21] amorefelina: no fast food but for 2 restraunts
[20:21] amorefelina:
[20:21] amorefelina: tons of snow (the most in colorado they claim)
[20:21] amorefelina: and you think YOU have it bad
[20:21] amorefelina: pffft
[20:21] amorefelina: psha!
[20:22] amorefelina: at least you get to suck out souls on your free time!
[20:22] death2420: i am from a area that makes this place look like there is nothing here
[20:22] death2420: and that is my only fun
[20:23] death2420: there is many restraunts here but there is nothing for entertainment
[20:25] amorefelina: you don’t like outdoor stuff?
[20:25] death2420: that is what i live for but i do not get enough time of work to go out and enjoy it
[20:25] death2420: i love to hike and repel
[20:30] amorefelina: yeah
[20:30] amorefelina: I enjoy hiking, kayaking, fishing, etc.
[20:30] amorefelina: but I have an online job
[20:30] amorefelina: so I get lots of time
[20:30] amorefelina: I make my own schedule
[20:31] death2420: lucky you
[20:31] death2420: is there anyplace to white water out here that is good
[20:34] amorefelina: we have over 11 lakes within 20 mins.
[20:34] amorefelina: so yes
[20:34] amorefelina: and two rivers
[20:34] amorefelina: San Juan
[20:34] amorefelina: Rio Grande
[20:38] amorefelina: I told my friend death IMed me
[20:38] amorefelina: they didn’t believe me
[20:38] amorefelina: 
[20:39] death2420: does not surprise me
[20:39] amorefelina: some people
[20:39] amorefelina: well, you would know…
I then got messaged by my friend and shared a bit about Death, including his profile. I also decided to let Ted in on this conversation. I don’t think he believed me at first. Once he realized I really WAS talking to Death on IM he referenced me to his article where Death had a chance to take him in 1982 but failed to do so .
I then spoke to Death about my last days:
[20:44] amorefelina: I’m going to have to blog about you now
[20:44] amorefelina: just thought I’d let you know
[20:44] amorefelina: should you want to decrease the time I’m here
[20:46] death2420: well if i am going to decrease your time i will make sure that it is a slow process for the final breathe
[20:46] amorefelina: ah, my worst nightmare!
[20:46] amorefelina: damn
[20:46] amorefelina: I knew you were mean but I had no idea…I mean, sometimes they portray you as a bit caring…
[20:47] death2420: it all matters on the person and how i fell at the time
[20:48] amorefelina: well since I live here I’m sure that puts me in the ‘bad dying ideas’ pot
[20:48] amorefelina: since you hate it and all
[20:49] death2420: no i will be nice to you on that one
[20:53] amorefelina: ah, thanks
[20:53] amorefelina: I’m taking notes!
[20:54] death2420: thats good that makes it where when i come to visit you you should know what is going on and i will make sure to take my time with you
This is when I realize that Death is a pervert. I quickly start ending the conversation with Death and ponder my demise…laughing at Death really made my night!
[20:56] death2420: so when would you like me to take you from this place
[20:57] amorefelina: oh, I plan to fight you until the end. I’m staying a long time. I have too much to do and I promised my husband we’d grow old together. I’ll IM you when I’m ready
Oh, and Death works for Haliburton!
My brother said: [21:03] straitjacket0: He’s not even the beta version of death
And another comment: [21:05] splendagoth : aww death logged off
And so, Death will not visit me until I IM. Don’t you wished you were so lucky?
You know everyone wants in on the act. If this guys is death I’m Mary Poppins. Every ones knows death lives in Michigan.
Death is from Colorado and California is hell. Chuh. Who’d'a thunk it?
MMm but anyway…that was kinda creepy. lol
Now I’m completely confused. I know Satan is from Michigan because that’s where Hell is. I know Jesus is from California because you can email him at his blog…emailsfromjesus. But gee, I thought Death lived in Death Valley, CA!
LOL
Thanks for the geography lesson and the fantastically funny transcript!
I thought Satan would work for Haliburton, not Death. I figured Death worked for WalMart.
Of course Death works for Haliburton… Have you seen Cheney lately?????
lol…even death needs food and entertainment, that’s hilarious. I am surprised he picked 666 as death is supposed to be ambiguous towards heaven or hell.