1. I am an inconsistent friend. Not because I don’t like who I’m dealing with — but because I doubt their sincerity with me at first. Once a mysterious time-frame is over in a friendship, I’m confident and I make a much better friend.
2. I hated admitting my age after 24 years but when I turned 32 I started being honest. (sometimes)
3. I do still joke with family about “being 24″ on my next b-day. My last b-day cake from my family had “Happy 24th” on it.
4. There are certain days of the year that depress me, scare me, hurt me. Anniversary dates from the past — they still haunt me.
5. I am not good with death.
6. If I don’t attend the funeral, I will still reference the person as ‘alive’ at times. If I attend the funeral, I usually have panic attacks.
7. I haven’t lost anyone real close to me and I’m thankful but I know it’ll happen soon so I’m fearful.
8. I am the youngest in my family.
9. I have a big brother (three years older than me) that I consider one of my best friends.
10. I married the “youngest in the family” and it often creates struggles between us.
11. I love computers.
12. I work with them on a daily basis and enjoy both hardware and software issues.
13. I built my own system and my sons.
14.
15. I love my parents.
16. I have always been a “Daddy’s Girl” but in the past 2 years I have grown much closer to my mother than I was and I’m very happy about it.
17. I have over 18 named personalities in my system.
18. I have a fear of forest areas with a certain tree structure and look.
19. I hike a lot and sometimes find these areas. I quickly remove myself from them and hope I don’t have to see them, walk through them, or remember them.
20. This fear of forest areas probably is a bad abuse memory surfacing and that bothers me even more than the fear of the forest areas.
21. I read very fast and enjoy several books at one time.
22. I will read a true crime book, a fiction book, the Bible, therapy books, and business books all during one week.
23. I will switch from one book to another until I find one that sticks — then I’ll devour it and move to the next one until I’m done.
24. I count things, view patterns, remember numbers very well and sometimes, feel downright autistic.
25. I’m not. It’s probably my OCD surfacing instead. I recently found out that I’m not the only person in my family that does this…so I don’t feel so alone.
26. I can remember my first phone number from when I was young, the second and many more after.
27. I cannot remember some numbers in my life no matter how hard I try but I have so many others memorized, I’m unsure why others give me such a hard time.
28. This time last year I was on over 12 medications that I took daily. One of the doses was extremely high and I never felt it worked even at that dose.
29. I am now medication free.
30. I was hospitalized over 4 times in the past 3 years for suicidal ideation, self-injurious behavior, and just basic breakdowns.
31. Once, I was taken to a state hospital and it was the most hideous visit I’ve ever experienced.
32. The longest stay was over 30 days in a specialized hospital. It was the most beneficial.
33. I got pregnant with my son at 17.
34. I’m glad, still, that I kept going!
35. I never once thought of abortion. In fact, when the Dr. mentioned it, I was downright mean to him.
36. I don’t regret that or the decision. I love my son and my life wasn’t ruined, only more blessed.
37. I was once married to a man but I forget about him. I don’t consider him my ex-husband. We lived together for only 20 days or so.
38. He was physically and emotionally abusive. I left.
39. I regret meeting him — he hurt me and my son.
40. I write poetry and I’ve been published.
41. I take photos a lot, and those are published as well.
42. I enjoy writing almost as much as I enjoy reading.
43. I dabble in digital photography in my business but I would enjoy a career as a photographer and I feel I’d be good at it.
44. I never let this idea die. It could happen someday.
45. I used to visit a local coffee shop almost daily (weekdays).
46. I didn’t enjoy the coffee as much as I enjoyed the social interaction and the people watching (I lived in a resort town so vacationers are spotted quickly).
47. I dreamed one day to live in the mountains of Colorado, in a log cabin, on a pretty hill, surrounded by trees, with a real good dog and my family.
48. I lived in the mountains of Colorado, in a log cabin, on a pretty hill, surrounded by trees, with a real good dog and my family.
49. I am making new dreams now.
50. I have just learned, this past 6 months, how to clean a house the proper way. It wasn’t that I lacked an example or a teacher — I just dissociated so much from life I didn’t remember anything. I now realize it’s important and I de-clutter the house daily.
51. I love gadgets and I’m bad about instant gratification for gadgets. I’ve improved since I moved away from a suburban area and lived in the middle of nowhere…but I still yearn for gadgets.
52. I have, at one time, owned over 20 cats.
53. They were outdoor cats and I fed them.
54. I realized they were breeding and eating my food all the time because I fed them.
55. When I moved, I felt bad that I couldn’t bring them with me. I am sure, now, that they’ve found other cat lovers to feed them.
56. I love art. I did art therapy in the hospital and it was my most favorite time. I wish I could do art more often. I suppose my photography is art but I like a more hands-on art too.
57. My first computer was a TRS-80 and I helped my mother by reading from program books while she typed. I quickly learned to type and went on to do BASIC programming at age 8 and later.
58. I wish I had continued to follow that path in some ways but I’m also glad that I learned many other things in the place of ‘programming’.
59.
60. I once owned a website that was at the top of the list in it’s specific category. I was featured on radio shows, gave online interviews, and was in GQ Magazine. I spoke with overseas clients almost daily.
61. I don’t regret that life but I am glad it’s over. It was fun — but it didn’t give me what I needed.
62. I love post-its. I’m addicted to them and like purple and green and blue!
63. I like Lucky Charms cereal when I’m hungry for something sweet in the morning. It doesn’t happen often but it does happen.
64. I think I secretly still look for the prize. I think it’s my “littles” coming out on those days.
65. My assumed name is Cat and everyone but my immediate family calls me that.
66. My mom and dad don’t prefer this but have come to understand why I insist upon it. I realize now it’s because my birth name is so precious to them.
67. It does make me change personalities when they are around or if I’m called by my birth name but I’ve learned to deal with it better.
68. I once dressed as Cat Woman for Halloween and loved wearing the latex outfit and mask.
69. My favorite question was, “who are you?” to which I got to reply, lamely, “I’m Cat Woman”. It was still great fun. (photos in my photos section). I rented the costume and didn’t want to return it but I did.
70. I played both Volleyball and Basketball in high school. I enjoyed both sports but really loved Volleyball the most.
71. I had a coach that insisted since I was so tall, I should be able to slam dunk.
72. He trained me for basketball and jumping higher but I never ‘got it’ right. I ended up, instead, working on my spike for Volleyball and getting pretty good at it.
73. My Senior year I was going to have a great Varsity year in Volleyball but things changed and I had to, instead, go speak to the coach before two-a-days and inform her that I was pregnant and wouldn’t be able to play sports that year.
74. I was pregnant my senior year but I still graduated with my class. It was a hard thing to do — morning sickness, tiredness, peer pressure, and other things tried to get in my way — but I prevailed, thanks to my mom and dad encouraging me to stay in school.
75. I’m glad I did.
76. I was in two commercials and did some modeling (wedding dress) for a photographer. It was great fun being in the commercials.
77. At that time I was going ‘clubbing’ and the bouncers of the club would recognize me from the commercial and let me in free.
78. The modeling was placed on the business card of the photographer and they also did a huge oil painting of it for the wedding dress boutique.
79. They kept the photo until a year passed and I was then able to keep it. My mother still has it somewhere.
80. I have a dog named Eve. We named her Eve because, at the time, we had Adam.
81. She is black (Akita) and he was white (Husky). He ‘domestically abused’ her by biting her and trying to be very alpha — so we got rid of him (took him to farm he came from, he was with us on a trial basis) because we were worried he would bite our children.
82. Eve stuck with us and has become part of our family. I call her my “doghter” as in ‘daughter’ or my “third child”.
83. She’s the BEST dog we’ve ever owned.
84. I wear glasses/contacts, but only sometimes. It depends on which personality is out at the time.
85. Only a few seem to need them so I find myself needing them at odd times.
86. It’s interesting, even to me, that one personality can have one need and another personality doesn’t have that.
87. I have even had issues with low blood sugar with one — not with another. It’s amazing what the body/mind can do together.
88. I believe in Grizzly Bears in Colorado.
89. The Department of Wildlife states that they ‘don’t exist’ but I am unsure why they think that the bears would stop at the state line and decide to turn around and not explore this side of the mountain.
90. The last one was said to have been seen in the ’70’s but due to political agendas and wildlife rules, they have deemed that they simply don’t exist here. Although evidence points that they do — they still deny it.
91. I also believe in some sort of Bigfoot or Sasquatch.
92. I’m not sure why I’ve held this belief but it wasn’t without investigation on my part. I’ve read a few books, visited websites (some are very corny and unbelief follows), and seen photos.
93. I think there is something out there we haven’t discovered yet and I find it odd that we would think, even here on Earth, that we’ve seen it all.
94. I have a Bobblehead Kitty! (story behind this one)
95. My brother gave her to me and she’s the best thing I have for my desk. I don’t think he could’ve gotten me a better gift that year.
96. I like Coke. Coca-Cola, that is.
97. I grew up in a home that served mostly Dr. Pepper but when I got into high school I favored Coke.
98. Now, I can’t drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper (ew!) and if I can’t choose Coke, I opt for Sprite or Root Beer.
99. I also love Cream Soda.
100. Are you wondering why I didn’t do #100?